If He Had Been with Me
#1 in If He Had Been with Me Series
on Goodreads (498,358)
What’s inside...
If he had been with me everything would have been different. I wasn't with Finn on that August night, but I should've been. It was raining, and he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one knows what they were arguing about, but it is crucial to the story that lurks between the facts. Let me tell you the real story. If he had been with me, he wouldn't have died. Throughout their whole childhood, Finn and Autumn were inseparable—they finished each other's sentences, they knew just what to say when the other person was hurting. But one incident in middle school puts them in separate social worlds come high school, and Autumn has been happily dating James for the last 2 years. But she's always wondered what if... The night she's about to get the answer is also one of terrible tragedy.
Discussion points
How do you think Autumn's feelings for Finny changed throughout the story, and why?
What are some ways Autumn and Finny supported each other's dreams and how does that affect their friendship?
If you were in Autumn's place, how would you handle the complicated feelings she experienced?
What do you think are the key messages about love and friendship in this story?
How do you think the story would have changed if Autumn and Finny communicated their feelings more openly?
Tip: Role play these questions
Use empathetic listening to really understand your child's perspective on Autumn and Finny's relationship.
Encourage your child to relate the story to their own experiences with friendships and how they navigate them.
Discuss the importance of communication in relationships and ask your child how they think better communication could have altered the story’s outcome.
Highlight the complexities of human emotions and relationships depicted in the book to foster a deeper understanding of interpersonal dynamics.
Key lessons
Example Lesson: The importance of communication
Explanation: Throughout the book, the characters experience misunderstandings and missed opportunities due to lack of open communication. This highlights how essential it is to express feelings and thoughts clearly.
Real-World Application: Children can learn to express their emotions and thoughts openly with friends and family, fostering better relationships and understanding.
Example Lesson: Valuing friendships
Explanation: The protagonist's relationship with her childhood friend demonstrates the deep impact that friendships have on our lives, influencing our decisions and emotional well-being.
Real-World Application: This lesson can encourage children to appreciate and nurture their friendships, understanding the role they play in personal development and happiness.
Example Lesson: Dealing with change and loss
Explanation: As the characters in the book navigate through changes and the ultimate loss towards the end, it shows the inevitability of change and the importance of resilience.
Real-World Application: Children can learn to adapt to changes in life, whether it's moving to a new school or dealing with the loss of a loved one, by finding healthy ways to cope and move forward.
Example Lesson: The impact of choices
Explanation: The story illustrates how the decisions made by characters influence their futures and affect their relationships, underscoring the consequences of one's choices.
Real-World Application: This teaches children to consider the consequences of their actions and to think critically about the choices they make every day.
Example Lesson: Understanding and empathy
Explanation: Characters in the book often misjudge each other, leading to conflicts. The resolution of these conflicts demonstrates the importance of empathy and trying to understand others' perspectives.
Real-World Application: This lesson can help children develop empathy, encouraging them to consider other people’s feelings and viewpoints, which can lead to more harmonious interactions.