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Ties That Bind, Ties That Break

3.87
on Goodreads (3,835)

What’s inside...

Third Sister in the Tao family, Ailin, watches her older sisters undergo the painful process of foot binding, a tradition for women in China in 1911. Ailin, who loves to run and play with her male cousins, rebels against this tradition, knowing it would limit her mobility. Her refusal leads to the cancellation of her marriage agreement and loss of family support as she enters adolescence. Left with few options in Chinese society, Ailin is determined to forge her own destiny with bold conviction and an indomitable spirit. Her story honors the courage of women who created new options for future generations.
Age

9-13

Length

160 pages

Text complexity

Character compass

Ailin
Ms. Gilbertson
Ailin'S Father
Ailin'S Mother
Big Uncle

Discussion points

How do you think Ailin felt when she decided not to bind her feet, and what would you have done in her situation?
What are some ways that Ailin shows strength and courage throughout the story?
How do Ailin's relationships with her family change after she makes her decision?
What did you learn about Chinese culture and traditions from this book?
Why is it important to stand up for what you believe in, even if it's against tradition?
Tip: Role play these questions
Empathize with Ailin's experiences and ask your child how they relate to her struggles and victories.
Discuss the historical context of the book to help your child understand the cultural significance of foot-binding and its impact on women's lives.
Encourage your child to express their thoughts on family, tradition, and individuality, as explored in the book.
Praise your child’s insights and relate them to modern-day scenarios of peer pressure and the importance of personal choice.
Use examples from the book to discuss the long-term benefits of making difficult but principled choices.

Key lessons

Example Lesson: Resilience and courage in the face of adversity
Explanation: The protagonist, Ailin, shows immense bravery by choosing not to bind her feet, defying traditional Chinese customs to pursue personal freedom and education.
Real-World Application: Children learn the importance of standing up for their beliefs and values, even when it’s difficult or goes against societal expectations.
Example Lesson: The importance of education and self-improvement
Explanation: Ailin’s journey emphasizes how education opens doors to new opportunities and personal growth, as she learns English and eventually moves to America.
Real-World Application: Encourages children to value and pursue education as a pathway to achieving their dreams and improving their lives.
Example Lesson: Adaptability and embracing change
Explanation: Throughout the book, Ailin faces numerous changes and challenges, from her family's declining status to relocating to a new country. Her ability to adapt is pivotal in overcoming these obstacles.
Real-World Application: Teaches children the importance of being flexible and open to change, skills that are essential in navigating life’s unpredictable moments.
Example Lesson: Empathy and understanding different cultures
Explanation: Ailin’s experience provides insight into Chinese traditions and the struggles of adapting to Western culture, fostering a deeper understanding of cultural differences.
Real-World Application: Encourages children to be empathetic towards people from different backgrounds and to appreciate the diversity of cultures around them.
Example Lesson: Role of family and personal choice
Explanation: The narrative explores tensions between familial obligations and personal choices. Ailin chooses her own path, highlighting the complex dynamics in family relationships.
Real-World Application: Helps children understand the importance of balancing personal desires with family expectations, and the complexities involved in making life decisions.